Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day… the crisp air cut through my jeans as the sun barely peaked through thick snow clouds. Walking down the street, penny sized snow flakes began to stick in the grass and pile on top of green and yellow beanies and scarves. In class, staring at the window, I finally understood what all the poems meant by a “blanket” of snow. The snow was so fluffy and dense and comforting, i was disappointed to be in class. But as quick as it came, it was gone. The sun came out and warmed many out of their winter jackets and stripped away all the snow from the ground. Every building, light pole, street sign, and vehicle were dripping and streams of water trickled down the streets, speckling in the bright and warm sunlight. This was a beautiful beginning to my regaining some harmony in my life.
Mental harmony: This week went well in my classes. I was beyond nervous to go back after missing so many classes and thought I would be very behind. First of all, I had to drop my Italian course. While at first I was a little broken up about this, I realized that the Italian courses at the school would not help me anymore until I actually visited Italy and got a firmer grasp on the language. So, now I can stress a little less about keeping up in the language and actually have some confidence in classes for the next few terms. Secondly, I met with my journalism professor and was told that I seem to be ahead of the kids that were actually in the class. haha. Lastly, my other journalism professor has decided to redo his final so that it may be a take home and allow people to do better on the exam. My anxiety monster has been locked away now for the time being.
Physical Harmony: Today, I resigned at my job at Mangiamo. This was the most difficult decision I had to make to return to some harmony. My boss was absolutely wonderful at accepting the information, and though we shared some tears, I think I left in a very good spot. By quitting this job, I will not have the high demand of waking up early some days and going to be really late other days, I will also not have the added responsibility of ensuring the barista side runs properly. I do hope to keep my boss in my life. I have also been really concentrating on the food that I put into my body. I am trying to remember that food is what sustains me, not simply a pleasure. It has only been about 3 days, but I am already noticing a difference in the way my stomach feels. In the morning I have been eating fruit (usually watermelon, cantaloupe, pears, or bananas, or a mix) and one or two egg whites. Sometimes I need a snack and will eat fruit and drink some herbal tea. I have been roasting big trays of veggies and saving them to divvy out for lunch with a small piece of chicken and also possibly an afternoon snack. The roasted veggies have been yam, sweet potato, broccoli, carrots, and cauliflower, sprinkled with sea salt, pepper, and curry. Dinner last night I made a curry stir fry with green beans, broccoli, carrots, ginger, garlic, and chicken. I also have a soup by PACIFIC called red lentil curry. Though lentils are an acid causing food, they were only a minor part of the soup and I hardly had any acid that I decided it would be fine. This diet, along with lots of water and probiotics, has already made me feel much better.
Emotional Harmony: Freeing myself up from all the stress, I believe, will truly help my emotional well being. Shane is wonderful and makes me feel good, but he can only do so much for me. I will not be able to focus on one job and learn what I am truly passionate about: baking! I am excited to finally learn and gain some skills I can use for a career I really love. Also, I will now have the time to garden and be creative again. I have also been thinking a lot lately about my sister graduating, and this transition will give me a lot more free time to visit her and to spend more time in Bend before my family moves away.
Just gonna try to let the sun rush in.